The Value of Friendship

Throughout the first day of my exams, I had a heavy heart and was unsure as to why I felt that way. By the time I reached the door of my unit, I was in tears. I felt broken and just confused with what happened earlier in the week. My tears turned into cries then eventually into uncontrollable sobs. The reason for grieving is not as important as what I want to share with you here.

God has impeccable timing because He held everything together for me and helped me brave my exams until I got home (without Him, I think I would have been crying in the middle of my exams). When I entered my place, I saw that my friend left notes and her cupcake for me, and guess what? that made me cry even more! (I am such a crybaby!) I love how God uses people in my life to speak to me and shows His love for me even if it's in the smallest way, I greatly appreciate those moments.

My friend wrote me a letter that reads:

           You are a fighter! A warrior princess says the Lord. "Prepare the horse for the day of battle." The things you are experiencing now are meant to get you ready to fight! You'll be facing a lot of great battles but remember that it is not the horse or sword that will hold you up and deliver you on the day of trouble but the Lord Jesus Christ!

          Call upon Him and shout His name! Declare your identity in Christ in front of your enemies! Like David said in Psalms 23, "You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies!" While the enemies try to distract you, you just "dine with Jesus!" Fellowship with Him. Enjoy His presence! He loves you ETERNALLY, not just "to the moon and back." lol

And it didn't stop there. She really gave me a surprise! And this was on her birthday too!

Upper right: she recently learned what bae actually means. Lower left: a representation of my friend's birthday from last year and this year... there's still a balloon like last year! Lower right: she left around 5 of these post-it notes around my place!

It is such a blessing to have friends who push you closer to God and I believe relationships like that are important to have. The value of friendship is just as important as that of family and much greater than any value we put on love relationships with boyfriends or girlfriends, especially when Jesus is at the center. Sometimes, I might have every reason to feel bitter towards someone or jealous and picking sides, talking behind their backs, but Jesus removes all of that. Each day He gradually changes my heart and allows me to forgive and love others despite what I should feel and even if it doesn't make sense. I value friendship so much to let any outside force break it, because I wouldn't want to lose a friend over little drama and tensions that happen. His love makes me want to love others and just share it! Soon enough, you will forget yourself meaning that it was never about you all along. You will see that there is a greater, bigger picture and God is doing something behind the scenes. It's more than about your life and how you personally feel but about God and other people who are strategically placed in your life. And all you want to do is be a part of what God is doing just to give Him the glory. There is so much more to life than the temporary things of this world.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."

Philippians 2:3-5

That was what my friend reminded me that day when I came home: the beauty of friendships and His love that conquers all. 

All Along (Psalm 51:12)

You were the One I've been waiting for. The Love of my heart's desire, the Joy of my salvation. Why did I have to wait when You were waiting for me all along? You are the One true Love that is perfect and abounding that has unfailingly won my fickle heart over and over. Yet, You still love me despite the countless times I have ran away looking for love in the wrong places, seeking satisfaction in the things of this temporary world. When in fact, happiness was not the need for it was the joy I have desired all along. It can never be found anywhere or in anything of this world but in the Giver of joy Himself. It is when I take delight in my Father and Savior that He restores to me the joy of my salvation. I carry on as I fervently and earnestly seek You above all else with no ulterior motive for my heart knows that it longs for the eternal. As I run to You, there my heart will be pressing on through barriers that hold me to keep me away from You. And when I fall, let it be in the arms of Your love that carries me as a father cradles his daughter to sleep.

You have won the victory in each of my battles in every season. All this time, it was never with my own strength alone but by Your power that pulled me through trials and temptations. I look to the One who is jealous for me and lavishly loves His daughter. I smile from ear to ear at the thought of just how much my Father loves me. I lift my hands as an act of surrender that yearns for His embrace. I want nothing more than the joy and the spirit of freedom.

Every day may You ever be the constant that reminds me that it is Your love. Each moment may You be in the quiet places I find myself in.

Tonight, I was beautifully reminded that it was You all along.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. (Ps. 51:12)

In the Wee Small Hours

Today is Monday and for the first time in forever, I am up before the sun rises for no apparent reason. I have no lecture today. I have no duty this week. However, I should be working on my thesis like I told myself that I would. Oh, well. My heart is going through an outpouring, therefore here I am writing this post and I'll see where this goes because I have the biggest tendency to go on random tangents leading to incoherent babbling. So, bear with me if you have been following me on this blog and reading all my posts. I notice from looking at all my posts as a whole, it's indeed all over the place. That's because I am unsure what to make of this blogspot as of now and then there's also the factor of not knowing who reads this.

Anyways, the real reason I am writing this is to share with you about an amazing, awesome, wonderful God that I know and love. So, setting everything about school aside, I need to get this out for my own sake and possibly for those who need this or just want to catch up with what exactly is going on with my life on a spiritual level. I have so much notes typed on my phone, I was wondering when I will ever get around to talking about them individually here.

Grace. It is amazing and sweet sounding. This word has taken hold of my heart as I think about it again and again. It saves me while I am so undeserving. I cannot stress enough how refreshing grace is!

His Grace Changes Everything.

This song could not be any more true to my life at this moment in time because God did something to me last week that definitely changed everything. From miraculously postponing my thesis defense 1 week later to giving me time to focus on my thesis. I actually have no clue how why or when but changing the defense date pushed me to determination that I can finish this with excellence, all for the glory of my Father. I am boldly claiming it whether we reach our goal grade or not because I want to finish this knowing I did my utmost best with God as my source of strength. There is victory no matter what the outcome is. Just several days prior to that date change, I was running on low morale and my mind was not entirely focused on meeting the deadline because a little voice in my head kept saying, "too much to do, not enough time." And that was just one of many I thought to myself. All the worry did not do anything to make the productivity any faster. And then there was grace that came to save the day. I honestly was not expecting God to move on such perfect timing. That's when you know it's all God when events in your life is orchestrated in such a way that's too much for human comprehension. It is not coincidence!

So just imagine yourself dying then you're miraculously brought back to life with 10 more years to live as opposed to 1 month to live. When you have been saved by a life-threatening condition, doesn't that make you want to jump up and down? Doesn't that make you want to rejoice and shout praises to God? Knowing that the only reason you're alive today is all because of the One who saved you. God was abundantly gracious enough to have saved me and my group mates from the jaws of life. (Foreals, this thesis is do or die for my nursing student career) This great news motivated me to go the extra 10 miles giving everything I have for this thesis because my group and I have 1 extra week. So no time shall be wasted on anything else! I will have no excuse because God is a God of second chances. (and third, fourth and fifth chances!) This is all because of His overflowing grace that I do not deserve.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--

Ephesians 2:8

That is why I can lift my head towards heaven singing songs of praise with a smile on my face. It was such an amazing feeling to just worship Him on that beautiful Sunday morning after the storm. I was no longer dreading the coming week but rejoicing from what God did just days before Sunday.

Lord, can I please have more moments like this with You?

"So we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are passing away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are preparing for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

"Message in a Bottle"

There you are standing before me as your gaze holds the truth that pierces through the windows to my soul. Not a word was uttered for it was made perfectly clear from the melodies of your heart that sang to mine. It was not too long ago when you tossed your message in a bottle out into the vast ocean in hopes of finding its way to me. Inside, it contained feelings of hope, love and uncertainty. And now that was what I presented in my hand. I kept the bottle as a secret from you until the moment came for me to reveal what I had which was yours. That moment is now as I am standing before you with my heart in my hand along with your message in a bottle telling you that those feelings of hope, love and uncertainty are also mine.

No words were spoken from that moment on.

For I woke up to find
That it was all just a dream.

second excerpt

As far as the eye can see, an although seemingly frightening journey is an action-packed adventure worth taking and waiting to happen. Because if your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough, right? The longer they are deferred, the bigger, louder and scarier it becomes. With much excitement and anticipation, I tightly hold on to the grains of time in the hourglass that gradually sinks deeper. The tighter I grasp, the more easily time slips through my fingers. Allowing the minutes and hours to pass fleetingly, I take them for granted. Then at that moment, I look expectantly towards heaven and pray for direction that leads me to the heart of my dreams. For my soul longs for the day of fulfillment as well as joy in the Everlasting. I yearn for the love of a lifetime as I seek for the Love of eternity. As I wait, I stand patiently in silence and there I was with the answer. "Wait." These grains of sand is what I have as I am bounded by time. These lasting minutes and hours are not to be wasted but to make the most of them and live each day to the fullest. How precious and delicate each second, each grain that falls from the palms of your hands when kept open facing infinity. As the peace and assurance flow through me, I release my tight grasp and let it gradually fall deep below my feet. And in perfect time, I will no longer wait because my dreams will be reality.

I avert my eyes to a journey set before me going towards a destination. For I no longer wait to live out an adventure of a lifetime.