What a year, what a last couple of months it has been and what a journey the Lord has taken me on. And the best part is the rest of my life story has yet to be written. There are uncharted waters and oceans, there are more paths to travel through that have been less traveled by, there is so much more to see. Let's not leave it to places but to people; as well as their hearts. I want to see the old familiar places with new eyes. I want to listen to old songs as if I'm hearing them for the first time. I want to move in ways my body has never known before and remember to dance so it will be forever in muscle memory. Nothing forced, it will come naturally then eventually into the supernatural.
For awhile in my house, I decided to do something I've never really done that was probably a little crazy, just outside my comfort zone involving my eyesight. Ever since elementary school, I've always worn glasses and was heavily dependent on them as I grew older because my eyesight got worse. I am reminded through His word in 2 Corinthians 5:7 that we live by faith, not by sight. So I dared myself to not wear my glasses or my contact lenses for several days whenever I'm in the house, still doing the normal things I would do on a daily basis. I know that to someone else who may be observing me, I was like a blind woman putting my face up close to objects I could not read from far away. It was like seeing all my photos in bokeh form: everything was a real big blur! However, my heart was willing to live out the faith that was put in me. I was determined to outsmart my eyes in the physical realm which led me to rely on my other senses. This simple act exercised my memory when I had to remember where I last left my keys; it strengthened my sense of hearing and touch in ways I never knew I could before. I was able to go around my house without my glasses or contact lenses, and in a way, I was denying myself. I operated less in the flesh and allowed the Holy Spirit to work in me when I walked by faith, not by sight. Imagine what it's like to be a person completely without sight! Imagine what it's like to not be able to use your legs. Imagine what it's like to have no arms. When you lack something in the physical, the way I see it when you have God, you rely on the things you already have and improve on them. You get stronger and become this SUPERHUMAN. You will never go wrong when God is the source of Your strength and willpower.
When I do use my contact lenses, I see normally.
However, I've been told that I have tunnel vision as if I was actually blind.
I just like to think that I choose what I want to see. When you really focus your attention on something, nothing else matters. You block out your peripherals, your ears pinpoint one particular sound ignoring all the other extra unnecessary noise. Sometimes I would say to myself that I have ADD/ADHD or something because I would get easily distracted. But I've firmly decided that that's not the case. It took a lot of growing pains to get to this point and now that I'm in the adult world figuring it all out (honestly, I think I will be figuring it out for the rest of my life because there is no adult that has it all figured out.), I have a better perspective, better outlook on life when I rely less on my own senses. I see things more clearly when I don't believe everything that I see. I have better hearing or rather a better understanding when I listen to more than one side of the story; there's more listening, less talk. I can touch, I can feel, I can move, I can sing. And I may look or sound like a crazy person but that's what happens when you love a supernatural God! There's this radical change if you even dare allow yourself to be used in that way!
It's scary. Yet that's what makes me so excited to step into this new year. Most definitely I will experience more pains in the world of being an adult. For sure I will experience an even greater joy as I learn more about myself and discover what I am capable of, keeping in mind that I am a daughter of the One true King. Most of all, the actions and steps that will come to life. I am claiming that even though I am human having my own limitations, doubts and paralyzing fears. It's high time to move past that. I can be afraid and say whatever I want but my words have no meaning if action is not present with my faith!
2015 was full of milestones and new seasons.
I am most certain that this new year is another level for me to step to. More achievements to unlock as well as the most daring adventures to embark on. I am declaring that this new year will be the year I will finally meet the man that God has been and still preparing for me. There. I said it. God revealed to me many weeks ago that it will be like I'm meeting him for the very first time when I've only really looked at him as if he was a brother to me.
I am ready for what 2016 has for me, good and bad. Even if my heart will break, I am ready. Even if I make a complete fool of myself, I am ready. Even if it means giving up some dreams, I am ready. Even if people will hate me for it, I am ready. I will continue to speak this over my life, no matter what I may feel or think.
As long as God is with me through and through, I am ready for 2016.
