All of my life, in every season.

Worship is everything to me and I believe every experience I've ever had with worship was different. Long before I even knew there was such a thing, I first fell in love with music and singing. I wouldn't even be the person that I am today if my mom didn't push me to take piano lessons and eventually, voice lessons. 

I conquered my shyness and overcame many obstacles from then on. Then, there came the lowest point I've ever been in my life to the point where I started to doubt God's existence. I became lost and so confused with so many things at that time, my mom didn't know what to do. But, the only thing she did do was turn to God and surrendered her life to Christ... as well as mine. With that big leap of faith (and up until this day I cannot explain how it happened), the confusion, doubt, and the emotional stress was removed. My mind was renewed and the voice of God rang loud when I first experienced worship.

In the beginning, as I wasn't even saved yet, I loved the songs and just singing them. I joined the church choir and middle school choir not knowing what I was even doing. All I wanted to do was just sing. I wanted to be like the high school kids leading worship up on stage and that was what drew me in... I wanted to worship. I remember how my 7th grade self would feel insecure to even lift a hand up during weekly chapels. Looking back to before I accepted Christ as my Savior as well as the early years of my walk with God, it was just performance. I relied on my talent and my singing was for the sake of singing. 

Fast forward to the end of high school when I started to lead worship in a small church my family was in. Worship became a little more personal than it did before. And each of the worship experiences I had throughout my walk with God were different. There were times where I would find myself not in the right place with God when I worship. Sometimes, I would feel upset on a Sunday morning or I wouldn't even feel alive. How would I encourage the congregation to worship God if I'm in a spiritual drought? Heck, there were days when I would say, "I don't feel like leading worship. I'm tired." I've been there especially when I led every Sunday for such a time. 

Today, I still sing and volunteer to worship on Sundays at a church here in the Philippines. I praise God for the worship leaders who have shown me what worship really is. It was never just singing on Sundays. It was never just the talent or the qualification. It's about God. For the first time in a few years just recently, I led worship for our org's general assembly. Prior to that, I thought to myself, "I want this worship experience to be new and to be all for the glory of God." I wanted it to be sincere and joyful. There were even little voices in my head saying I wasn't qualified or I wasn't fit to lead people to worship. However, I was called.

I was not called for my qualifications. 
I was qualified because I was called.

On July 12, 2014, God did an amazing thing that day. God knew that I wasn't capable to lead a group of people into worship... especially when I don't surrender everything to Him.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

By the amazing grace of God, I had this overwhelming gladness in my heart that I could not contain. That was when I knew that I was no longer leading the worship. I felt so free! In those moments that I felt weak or inadequate, God just took over. I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses because I know that my God will lead me.

A declaration that I will make for my life: I can do anything through His strength for His power is made perfect in my weakness!